Day 12: When Everything Fell Apart, I Found My Strength

There comes a time in lifestyles while you honestly realize who desires you of their lifestyles—no longer out of duty, comfort, or fleeting feelings, however with authentic, unwavering purpose. I desire it didn’t take my global collapsing for me to see this fact, however it did.

Yesterday, I hit rock bottom.

The breakup shattered me in ways I can’t positioned into phrases. I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t prevent my mind from spiraling. I felt absolutely lost, like the walls around me were caving in. For the first time, I didn’t textual content her. We didn’t speak. I didn’t even try to attain out. Somewhere deep internal, I knew I couldn’t deliver myself to disturb her happiness with my sadness. But then the questions began haunting me: How can a person who loves you erase their personal happiness just to peer you smile?

So I stayed silent.

I let the hurricane rage internal me. The strain and ache—both bodily and emotional—consumed me. I tried to persuade myself it might skip, but it didn’t. Instead, I located myself clutching my chest, gasping for air. I felt my heart supply in—literally. A sharp pain shot thru me, and I found out something changed into extraordinarily wrong.

In that moment, I didn’t think of her.

I called my parents. My voice shook as I advised them, “Be satisfied, stay healthy, and understand that your son loves you more than whatever. That’s my remaining phrase to you.” I stated it with tears strolling down my face, completely believing it might be the last component I ever stated to them. I informed them I loved them, one last time, earlier than heading to the clinic.

At the sanatorium, Advitiya became there.

She’s a health practitioner and a person I met lengthy in the past thru Bumble. Funny how lifestyles connects human beings in ways you may in no way are expecting. Advitiya is one of those uncommon souls who gives so much love without awaiting anything in return. She loves me—extra than I deserve, extra than I ever expected. But I don’t feel the equal way about her, at least not romantically. Back then, I saved her within the “pal” area, not understanding how much she surely cared for me. Even now, once I’m at my lowest, she’s right here.

The medical doctors confirmed what I feared—a minor cardiac arrest. They informed me I wanted rest, life-style adjustments, and medicine. But all I should think turned into that the ache in my chest become not anything in comparison to the only in my coronary heart. I went domestic that night, exhausted however not able to sleep.

I checked my phone, hoping for a sign from her.

Nothing.

Instead, I noticed her Instagram stories. She changed into glad. She changed into surrounded by way of her own family, her buddies, and… him. Her new accomplice. She changed into sparkling with pleasure, completely immersed in a existence that didn’t consist of me. A life I as soon as imagined for us. It turned into like a dagger thru my heart. I stayed quiet, even though. What should I say? Her happiness was real, and I didn’t need to tarnish it with my sorrow.

Then came a message—a lifeline, genuinely.

It was my tomboy. She sent a simple “Hello.”

I replied with a shaky “Hi.”

She didn’t waste time. “Are you ok?” she requested. I froze. For a second, I idea maybe she had heard some thing from our mutual pal. Earlier, I had called him and cried my heart out, letting the storm inside me pour out thru the smartphone. But when I requested her if he had told her whatever, she stated no. She just knew.

And in that second, her intuition broke via the partitions I had built.

I spread out to her absolutely, telling her the entirety—approximately my heartbreak, the clinic, the endless ache. She didn’t interrupt. She didn’t choose. She just listened, absorbing each little bit of my unhappiness like a sponge.

My tomboy became my strength.

She has constantly been my strength, I realize now. She didn’t rush to repair me or offer solutions. Instead, she gave me what I needed most: the distance to feel human. She reminded me that love doesn’t constantly need to be romantic. Sometimes, the purest shape of love is truly being there for someone without awaiting anything in return. That’s who she is.

We don’t talk every day. We don’t flood every different with texts or calls. But by hook or by crook, we’re always there for every different when it matters. She stated something to me ultimate night that I’ll by no means overlook:

“You don’t need to outline us. I’m no longer here as your wife or your female friend. I’m here due to the fact I’m your excellent pal. And that’s all I want to be.”

Her words shook me to my center. She’s proper. I’ve constantly struggled to define relationships, to place labels on feelings, to categorize people into containers that make experience. But with her, there’s no want. She’s my tomboy. My satisfactory pal. My constant.

She’s been via her very own ache, and I recognize I haven’t constantly handled her the way she treats me. But now, I understand the depth of what we've got. It’s no longer something that desires every day conversations or constant reassurance. It’s a connection that truly is.

Dear tomboy,

As I’ve always advised you, you're precise. There’s nobody else like you. That’s why no person will ever replace you in my life. You apprehend pain, love, and friendship in a way few humans do. You’ve taught me that occasionally, it’s not the folks that depart who form your lifestyles—it’s the ones who live.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for being my electricity. Thank you for being you.